life and all its mysteries

Life is such a beautiful piece of cruel events that are still wonderful to some extent. I am day by day trying to figure this thing out. I know there is a possibility that maybe there is nothing to figure out at all and that it's just to experience.

The last few months have been awesome and sorrowful. My days currently range from ambitiously excited to grievance with a heavy heart.

Mostly I'm grateful. Grateful that things are working themselves out in a way that I just can't consciously understand but do have some intuitive gut feelings about. Grateful that I have found  much more discipline within myself as well as strength to truly let go of what was no longer serving me.

I was clinging to things but truly didn't realize it. I needed a wake up call and I definitely got it. If I keep trying to hold on to things that are not for my highest good any longer, I'll end up losing the things that mean the most to me.

I am not bound to pain and sadness. I am a very light-hearted being at the same time. I love to laugh and play and have fun. I love the idea of family and communion. I was living a life that wasn't true to my complete values. But now I have released those holds and I am presently experiencing my true self.

Obviously we needed some alone time. It's been a while. I'm excited to share this with someone one day.